Battle of the Sexes

Originally published on Heart of the Matter Online 7/14/08

I get furious at times because my children simply won’t cooperate. Why can’t they be quiet and alert, paying attention to every detail of every assignment, and get it right the first time? Why must multiplication be an equivalent to a trip to the dentist? Why can’t my children sit still in a chair for five minutes without tapping a pencil, shaking their head from side to side, making paper airplanes out of their assignment, or flipping upside down in a chair? I still don’t think they realize that they can’t write with their toes.Yes, that photo is the view from where I'm sitting.

I especially have a problem with my youngest son. He is seven and (confession time) has yet to complete a whole worksheet. He likes to look at the page and just answer them out loud. He doesn’t like to write during school time although he has no problem whatsoever with writing his alphabet in permanent marker on a leather recliner. He also has no issues with writing his name, full name mind you, in paint on the kitchen table. Thank goodness for washable paints! He is a bundle of energy that cannot be harnessed yet, he seems to learn more than I try to teach him even though he isn’t present for the whole lesson.

I had coffee with Darnelle, a dear friend and mentor, recently about the testosterone laden issues I have with homeschooling and she blatantly told me to, “chill out.” She said boys are just different from girls and we should just let them learn in a way that best suits them. If there only interested in crawfish that come out of the stinky, slime filled canal behind the neighbors house then let them count and subtract the critters. I also learned that if I take photos of them in the act of doing such gross things as “crawfishing” in a canal then print the photos on paper with blank lines underneath then ask them to write a story about their adventure that they are more likely to do it. I also have to remember that he is only seven and that if he is solid in math and reading right now then I am accomplishing something.

I also realized that boys tend to think better when they are doing something. After all, when men need to think they usually accompany that by working on a car, playing video games, or building a computer from scratch. Somehow this helps them process the information and absorb it. So, my son tapping a pencil on the table or dancing in the chair while reading is actually his way of learning. This is hard for me to understand since I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time but hey, boys and girls are just different. Besides, I completely trust what Darnelle says considering the fact that most of her kids are near geniuses and all.

Something else that I realized is that when they are ready to go full force with their learning… they go full force. One child went from not wanting to even do a single math problem one year to wanting to write essays then next and it has only gotten better since then.

I don’t know what girls are like since I don’t have one but I imagine that most of them are somewhat cooperative doing lessons and more appreciative of good literature. I also imagine them sitting daintily in a chair (even if they don’t want to) while mom teaches a lesson. I have a niece who makes a mockery of the statements I just made but I know as a child that I was more receptive to learning than the boys in my class. Most of my little girl friends were as well. What do you all think about the battle of the sexes?



Amy Bayliss is 3rd year homeschooling mom to three boys. She enjoys writing about the eclectic teachings that bring a glimmer of curiosity to the eyes of her sons. In addition to being the Co-owner and Director of Development for Heart of the Matter, she writes for CWO's Internet Cafe. Be sure to visit her blog, In Pursuit of Proverbs 31.