Last Words

Published on Heart of the Matter Online, June 23

As I write this post, there is a 93 year old gentleman lying in a hospital bed in a coma, moments away from death. Some would say "Well, he's had a full life." And to that I say, "Yes, he has." Others might say, "Well, he is old... you knew it was coming." Of course everyone dies one day, but that still makes this day sad. Sad because he is my dear, sweet mother-in-law's daddy--whom she really does still call daddy!

This kind, Christian gentleman with a twinkle in his bright blue eyes has always been known to me as Mr. Boulware. While in his 80s, he could hike circles around me (and that's with me really trying)! Mr. Boulware was involved with Carpenters for Christ, volunteered at the Food Bank, and even served Meals on Wheels-- often to those younger than him! It was only very recently that he began to slow down. I could go on forever about his great example, joyful countenance, wit and wisdom, but what I want to tell you about are his last words.

He was admitted to the hospital on Father's Day for pneumonia. This past Wednesday as my mother-in-law was leaving for the evening, she reached down and gave her daddy a kiss and told him that she loved him. Ever the loving and cheerful father (friend, neighbor, gentleman in the truest sense of the word), he stoically said "I love you." (I'm sure he said it with a grin... he always had a smile on his face.)

Then he went to sleep. And he has been asleep ever since.

I love you. Most likely the last words he will ever utter on this earth. I love you. Three sweet and simple words that encompass so much feeling. I love you. Words that are sometimes taken for granted.

Have you ever thought about what your last words might be? Frankly, this thought scares and humbles me.

We homeschool year round and earlier this week, we started back with our lessons after having taken two whole weeks off. Let's just say that Monday was a rocky kind of a day. Not as in triumphant over adversity Rocky with a capital "R," but as in I can't believe we are still "doing school" when it is almost supper time! The kids were dawdling, whining (oh wait, that was me whining!), not paying attention, and just plain being difficult. Last words? My oh my, on this particular day it would've been something ugly and at a very loud volume!

Tuesday, however, was much, much better! The kids were diligent, cheerful, obedient, and even worked ahead in their assignments because they wanted to. Last words on this day? Great job! I love you! I'm so proud of y'all!

Do you see the problem here? Why is it that we can be so sweet with our words when things are going our way, but when there are problems? Whoa! You better run far away from mommy!

Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones. ~Proverbs 16:24

I should have that verse posted all over my walls to help me remember! Not just sweet to the ears, but sweet to the soul. That means it goes very deep!

As you go through each day, you will have good days as well as those horrible, let me climb back into bed and wake me when it's over! days. It is especially on those most trying days that you must try to remember what your last words might be. Could you bite your tongue and just not say those words? In that voice? With that look on your face? Maybe you can be like me when I'm actually being semi-mature and just give yourself a time out! Choose not to scowl. Choose not to yell. Choose not to end a conversation with a hurtful word and walk away (even if there is a teeny bit of truth to those words). It's not just what we say, but how we say it!

We can't live in fear but we have to be honest and accept that we really do not know how long we have on this earth.

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. ~James 4:14

When that appointed time comes, will your last words be remembered fondly by your friends, your husband, your children? Or will your last words be looked upon with remorse, guilt, and sorrow?

I challenge you to start NOW. With your very next conversation. With your very next comment. Make your words sweet like honey! Make it healthy to your family's bones and good for their souls! You never know when they just might be your last.

In loving memory of Mr. John Boulware
February 4, 1915- June 22, 2008



Marsha is proud to be the Mrs. to David for over 12 years. They have been homeschooling their three rowdy boys in the Lone Star State for the past 5 years. When she's feeling like a slacker, you can find her drinking coffee, reading a book and writing at her blog-- and sometimes all at the same time! You can find Marsha at Our Homeschool and Other Such Happenings.