Do You Know My Friend Worry?

Published on Heart of the Matter Online, June 5

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Matthew 6:27

Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? What are they supposed to be learning at this age? Will they be able to get into college? Are we on schedule? Can we get back on track? Am I enough? In my last article, I listed the 8 main stumbling blocks to a joyous homeschool, based on your amazing feedback. These themes were Comparison, Busyness, Health, Worry, Scheduling, Interruptions, Housework and Media. In that article, I focused on the first three of these. As I sat down to expand on the remaining themes, I was hit by an epiphany. Looking over them now, I see that they can all really be boiled down to one simple, nasty five letter word . . . W-O-R-R-Y!

Worry and I are good friends. Even while typing and reflecting on Jesus’ wise words above, I worried about getting lunch ready, the house cleaned, and taking too long to write this article. What about you? What have you worried about today?

How about your Schedule? Did your day get started when you planned, or did an unexpected interruption sneak up? Did discipline issues or sibling squabbles hijack your well-thought-out Lesson Plans? If so, maybe it is time for a “time out”. . . for all of you! Mommy-to-four Tristan said that for her family, a too rigid schedule can be a major steal joy. “I find when the kids and I get too locked into a schedule and I start saying "We've got to get this done..." and skipping the fun breaks, that is when everyone gets crabby.”

Or maybe you are worried because a particular subject lasted longer than expected, or the kids interrupted read aloud time with a thousand questions every five seconds? This is something that I definitely deal with in our preschool, but I have learned that worrying about keeping up with a silly lesson plan will not only frazzle me more, but it will also totally stress out my kids! Amy had some amazing words of wisdom concerning her own son and this topic. “I tend to lose my patience during reading time when he insists that he get up and act out or demonstrate every new word he reads. Oy. It's only a few extra minutes, right? What else do I need to be doing that is so important that I can't take a few minutes to be silly with my son? Nothing. My day is not going to be ruined because reading lessons took 20 minutes instead of 15. If I lose my patience with my son, what could be ruined is his self worth and his faith in my love for him.”

Maybe you have the schedule down pat, but for you it is a pile of dishes or mountain of laundry causing you stress. This is yet another one that I can relate to! I just can’t seem to find a balance between a house that looks like Donna Reed’s and a house that looks like Roseanne’s! If my house can pass the white glove test, it normally means that my girls were left to their own devices and little learning or memory-making took place. On the other hand, if we had an amazing week of exploring, creating, learning and fun, then you are more likely to trip over the huge dust bunnies than worry about getting out the old glove.

I admire moms who say things like, “This is just the season we are in,” or “We are more concerned with exposing them to great books then if we have globs of toothpaste in the sink,” but try as I may, I can’t seem to quite get there. Don’t get me wrong, I agree with those sentiments, but agreeing doesn't seem to help me overlook the science experiments growing around me! Feeling guilty for thinking I have failed in my role as help meet to my wonderful husband is a major contributing factoring for my own struggle. I want him to feel as though home is his sanctuary, and it has been hard for me to realize that a sanctuary doesn't have to be “perfect.” An important step in this learning process was asking my husband what was important to him. With his help, we have created (and continue to tweak) a prioritized cleaning schedule, so that when I can only get the bare minimum done, he is happy and I can relax. Kristy, a member of our wonderful research panel, had another great tip, “I get a little manic when my house is messy, especially when there are dishes in the sink, so if it gets too bad we just go outside.” That, I can do!

Finally, do you worry about media? Concerns about television, music and the Internet came up often in the responses I received. Many moms said they worry about their children being exposed to the “wrong kind” of television programs or music, and that they worry about having the television on too much. Homeschoolers have a unique challenge when it comes to media, as our children are home ALL DAY! When children are in school for 6-8 hours everyday, a little television in the evening, in my humble opinion, is really not a big deal. However, when children school at home and lessons are frequently over by lunchtime, it can become a battle to keep the television from becoming the constant backdrop of the day. Especially with the many wonderful educational options we have today! So, how much is too much?

I wish there was a cut and dry answer to this question, but I really don’t think there is one. I believe it is a matter that each family must determine for themselves, each coming up with a unique decision for their home. As for music, I wholeheartedly agree with those who wrote in saying how much music can influence their mood. In our home, I have found that when we have on Classical music, it not only lifts our spirits, but has also resulted in fun impromptu dances around the living room! And what an easy way to work in Music Appreciation!

As for the MANY of you who listed the Internet (email, blog and forum reading, research, etc;) as your biggest stumbling block, I wish I could give you advice. Alas, this is the area that I need the most help with! One tip that I have recently read is to use a timer. Before you log on, decide how much time you want to devote to the computer and set a kitchen timer or stop watch. When it goes off, stop whatever you are doing and WALK AWAY. Log off and shut down if you have to, but step away from the computer! To be honest, I haven’t really put this tip to the test yet, but writing this article has inspired me to get the old kitchen timer out.

So, what about you? Which is your biggest struggle? If I listed any that you have conquered, do you have any tips or suggestions for the rest of us? I would love to hear how you strike a balance in your life with the Internet, or any of the worries listed above. Please leave a comment and share any words of wisdom you have, or let those of us struggling know that we aren't alone! Next month, I will be discussing ways we can take time in our day to make sure we are enjoying our family! If you have any thoughts you would like to share on that topic, please leave me a comment as well! Until then, enjoy your summer with your family!



Rachel is a devoted wife and preschool homeschooling mom of two little princesses, Jordan Faith (3) and Carolina "Cali" Grace (2). She has a passion for instilling a love of learning. She loves to create her own unit studies, as well encourage moms to experience Joy in the MINISTRY of Motherhood. Visit Rachel at Keep The Way.