I have had many homeschool moms ask me this question. What DO you do if your child decides he wants to "go to school?" My answer is...I can't answer that for you!
Let me explain.
We live in an amazing country. I am very grateful that for some reason, God saw fit to have me "be born" in this country that offers such opportunity and freedom. When it comes to educating our children we have several options to choose from. I think that is wonderful! Right now our children have such incredible opportunities and resources, and if we want, we can fit their education to meet their exact needs.
As parents we need to be praying diligently over our children and ask God what is the best fit for our children. Some children may thrive in a public school setting, some in a private school, and some in a home school. God knows which is best for them. That is why we need to FIRST consult HIM, and be open to how He may lead us.
Each family, and each child, is unique and may do things a little differently. One thing that we need to be careful about not doing is having our own philosophy or agenda, and forcing our kids to fit into a particular mold. There are many books, organizations, and websites out there that tell us that a "godly person" should homeschool. They may tell us how we should look and dress, and even what kind of music we should listen to. It is very important that we be sensitive to our children, their uniqueness and tastes, as well as how God has made them. Over the years I have observed some very frustrated children as their well meaning parents tried to follow a philosophy or curriculum that did not "fit" their child, and tried to force them into a particular mold. I have also seen some children who have had expectations forced on them by their parents. It seemed as if the children were not allowed to be unique or to be "in process."
All this to say that I cannot tell you what to do with your child, only God can. I do not know what is best, but God does. If your child comes to you one day and expresses that he wants to go to school, maybe it is time to evaluate whether or not his needs are being met. Ask him why he wants to go to school. If there is something he feels he is missing out on, like sports, an activity, or even friendship, make sure he knows that you HEAR HIM and that you will begin praying about how that need might be met. If our children know we are listening to them, on their side and sensitive to what they are feeling, it makes such a difference.
Start to pray about the areas that you child has expressed interest in. Investigate how these needs might be met through church or community activities. There are so many opportunities out there now for homeschoolers that I don't think that we need to just automatically put them in school, although that might happen eventually if the Lord leads that way.
Just this year my son, who is 14, began expressing that there were a few things he wished he could do. He didn't necessarily wish he could go to school, but he was feeling that something was lacking. I told him that I would begin to pray about those things and I started to do some research. I even talked with my husband about the possibility of putting him in school next year. We didn't want to, but we thought we should at least be open to that. As we've prayed, God has opened some wonderful doors of opportunity for our son. When that happens, I make sure to point out how God provides for him. He has seen his parents actively praying and trusting God, and he has seen God provide for him. I think that is exciting!
My daughter has gone through times when she has wished she had more friends. Of course my mother's heart has hurt for her. I could manipulate things and make it happen, but down deep I know that if it isn't a Godsend, it will not be good for her. I have prayed. I also went to a godly older woman for council. What she shared with me made so much sense. She told me that her (now grown) daughter went through a time when she would come home from school in tears because she didn't have a good friend. There were also times when she did have closer friends. She said that those times that her daughter didn't have close friends were the times that God used to cause them to become very close as mother and daughter. It is fun to watch this woman and her grown daughter as they are very close, even though the daughter is married with a child. I have been seeing this happen in my own relationship with my daughter, and am very grateful and see such wisdom in God withholding friendship in her life at times. Think about what we would be missing out if I were always trying to provide friendships for my daughter. It would have hindered what God wanted to do.
It is so important to pray over your children's needs. If we rush to meet a perceived need without consulting God, it might end up being a bad thing. If we wait on the Lord and leave it to Him, He will make it clear what He wants to fill our children's lives with. He loves them even more than we do. Of course He will do what is best for them!
If you've done your research and have prayed, and you still see areas of need in your child's life, maybe it is time to consider putting them in school. I don't know. Only God can tell you that for sure. Pray like crazy. Give God time to make it clear. You can be sure He will!
Let me explain.
We live in an amazing country. I am very grateful that for some reason, God saw fit to have me "be born" in this country that offers such opportunity and freedom. When it comes to educating our children we have several options to choose from. I think that is wonderful! Right now our children have such incredible opportunities and resources, and if we want, we can fit their education to meet their exact needs.
As parents we need to be praying diligently over our children and ask God what is the best fit for our children. Some children may thrive in a public school setting, some in a private school, and some in a home school. God knows which is best for them. That is why we need to FIRST consult HIM, and be open to how He may lead us.
Each family, and each child, is unique and may do things a little differently. One thing that we need to be careful about not doing is having our own philosophy or agenda, and forcing our kids to fit into a particular mold. There are many books, organizations, and websites out there that tell us that a "godly person" should homeschool. They may tell us how we should look and dress, and even what kind of music we should listen to. It is very important that we be sensitive to our children, their uniqueness and tastes, as well as how God has made them. Over the years I have observed some very frustrated children as their well meaning parents tried to follow a philosophy or curriculum that did not "fit" their child, and tried to force them into a particular mold. I have also seen some children who have had expectations forced on them by their parents. It seemed as if the children were not allowed to be unique or to be "in process."
All this to say that I cannot tell you what to do with your child, only God can. I do not know what is best, but God does. If your child comes to you one day and expresses that he wants to go to school, maybe it is time to evaluate whether or not his needs are being met. Ask him why he wants to go to school. If there is something he feels he is missing out on, like sports, an activity, or even friendship, make sure he knows that you HEAR HIM and that you will begin praying about how that need might be met. If our children know we are listening to them, on their side and sensitive to what they are feeling, it makes such a difference.Start to pray about the areas that you child has expressed interest in. Investigate how these needs might be met through church or community activities. There are so many opportunities out there now for homeschoolers that I don't think that we need to just automatically put them in school, although that might happen eventually if the Lord leads that way.
Just this year my son, who is 14, began expressing that there were a few things he wished he could do. He didn't necessarily wish he could go to school, but he was feeling that something was lacking. I told him that I would begin to pray about those things and I started to do some research. I even talked with my husband about the possibility of putting him in school next year. We didn't want to, but we thought we should at least be open to that. As we've prayed, God has opened some wonderful doors of opportunity for our son. When that happens, I make sure to point out how God provides for him. He has seen his parents actively praying and trusting God, and he has seen God provide for him. I think that is exciting!
My daughter has gone through times when she has wished she had more friends. Of course my mother's heart has hurt for her. I could manipulate things and make it happen, but down deep I know that if it isn't a Godsend, it will not be good for her. I have prayed. I also went to a godly older woman for council. What she shared with me made so much sense. She told me that her (now grown) daughter went through a time when she would come home from school in tears because she didn't have a good friend. There were also times when she did have closer friends. She said that those times that her daughter didn't have close friends were the times that God used to cause them to become very close as mother and daughter. It is fun to watch this woman and her grown daughter as they are very close, even though the daughter is married with a child. I have been seeing this happen in my own relationship with my daughter, and am very grateful and see such wisdom in God withholding friendship in her life at times. Think about what we would be missing out if I were always trying to provide friendships for my daughter. It would have hindered what God wanted to do.It is so important to pray over your children's needs. If we rush to meet a perceived need without consulting God, it might end up being a bad thing. If we wait on the Lord and leave it to Him, He will make it clear what He wants to fill our children's lives with. He loves them even more than we do. Of course He will do what is best for them!
If you've done your research and have prayed, and you still see areas of need in your child's life, maybe it is time to consider putting them in school. I don't know. Only God can tell you that for sure. Pray like crazy. Give God time to make it clear. You can be sure He will!
Gina is the mom of two high schoolers, a freshman and a Senior. In her column "Reaching High," she shares the many lessons that God has taught her and her family, as they have sought Him through the years. Visit her at her blog, Chats with An Old Lady.
5 comments:
Wonderful article, Gina. I have to agree with this woman you spoke to. When I was in public schools, I had friends, but not TRUE friends. When I switched to homeschool, I saw who my true friends were, because they continued to reach out to me (and I to them) and our friendships continued on. I also made friends with people in my homeschooling group- amazing people I wouldn't have met in public school!
There were definitely times I felt lonely, but, as this woman said, I drew closer to my mom. Previously, I was a "daddy's girl", and this experience made Mom and I build something beyond a parent-child relationship. I believe it was the foundation for the great friendship we have now!
Well written Gina. This is so tue. We always need to be listening -with ears & hearts.
www.homeschooljourney.wordpress.com
Great article, Gina. My oldest struggled with this during his first year coming home from private school. We had to really listen and replace those things which he felt that were missing with other positive things.
In the back of my mind I have been struggling with some what I would do if my daughter wanted to go to public school. I think you've offered wonderful advice!
This is a great article. I love what you said about providing friends for your daughter. I have felt that way about both of my kids at times homeschooling. But our family has really grown closer through the "dessert" path.
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